Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's Not Me, It's You

Dear Cheese,

Hi, it's me. You have to know by now how much I love you. I rarely go a day without spending time with you. I love your smooth texture, the way you get all melty over a bowl of hot noodles. The way you lay so serenely on a toasted sandwich and gaze lovingly back at me from atop a crisp salad. I love your colors. Light yellows to deep oranges, you're really irresistable. Irresistable that is, until I found out the truth about you and where you come from. And, the truth about what you are doing to the inside of my body. Literally. Your proteins are attaching to my arteries causing skyrocketing cholesterol levels. Your fat, makes me fat... By the way, Casein, your main protein buddy, is the base for one of the strongest glues used in woodworking. Your friends, the "Dairy Products" have been found to contain dangerous amounts of Penicillan and other anitbiotics used to help speed up their growth. You're clogging my brain cells, not to mention my intestines. You cause mucous, yes mucous build-up as my body tries to fight off your evil ways. And oh, the enzymes you're made with, taken from the bellies of little calves. How could you do such a thing? We have had such a long and glorious relationship, but now Cheese, it's time for this relationship to come to an end. I'm just not that into you.


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